Grey Matter

As I reach the third month of being away from the place I identify with as “home”, I am overjoyed by where this journey has taken me. Thailand has provided a breeding ground for new perspective, the revealing of new creative means, and a sanctuary for full unhindered self-expression. Comprehending what has been gained (so far) is impossible. Mainly because i am still, very much, receiving the gifts of Thailand..

The interesting thing about this place is how subtlety it takes its visitors on a journey of the soul. The Thai way of life has lovingly gestured for me to appreciate the small details of life. My ideas of how life “should” be enjoyed have dramatically changed and with that, my intentions have too.

In Pai, where I am staying has welcomed me with open arms to the beautiful world of Yoga. I really feel like this place is allowing me to bring out the best parts of myself– through meditative stillness and connection to nature. I can already feel like I am a more productive (mentally sound) member of society- yay! Every day feels like a new gift that is allowing me more ways to understand my light– and the ways I can share that light with others. It’s pretty awesome.

I am learning to love myself here, in new ways. It’s thrilling.

I came to Asia to be of service to others. I came to give but, I am getting a lot more in return.

I know I will leave this place, having traveled far, only to realize that everything I ever need is right inside… that’s a remarkable revelation to find peace in—

This place has certainly ignited a personal awakening but, I know that the person who said YES to this trip was the spark to getting here… as I continue to stay open to growing I realize how important it is to bring this “home” with me… wherever home turns out. When I return, I know I will be filled with richer appreciation, compassion and an intent to pursue self love and creative service.

I am falling deeply in love with my-being. And I wrote about it…




Growing Wisdom, Getting Younger.
Conceptualizing time in a reverse hourglass- filling itself Up-
pulsating with intense,
Exhilarating thoughts of being-

Illusions fade
the lines of years smeared

mindlessly, on the face- melt.
The repetitious pattern of, what we think are scars-
relax into yourself.
And where there once was a mark- only gladness remains.

in its Place,
as a stand-in-

re-placement to the void
of- Every Thing.
to All-
it takes the Shape- of All forms.

the Wrist,
of our heavy laden hearts,
frees itself-
And the Clock of our fathers-
reassembles itself- ticking
to be-
what we Need-

Time-Less energy
circulating the earthly ground we walk on
And- Now,
once we’ve Lost it…
All track
manifestation –
of a world that once told us we
“need to be on time”-

We are set free !
by hands that bind
imprisoned dendrites–
to stagnation,
for so. god. damn. long.

releasing that notion-
or, those notions-
“The” Notion- that we “Need” to be “Something”,
we- Instantly- Become what we never knew we could be-
our-selves .

Ah. Freedom.
from our-self-loathing.

Shackled emotions and thoughts—  dismantled, unhindered, unleashed.
to dance in the galactic playground, our cosmic heart channels remember,
like a dream-
on the edge of always Being, real-
Made home in the infinite dome of all existence
And that thing we call, human perspective.

What a gift in time we find, treating symptoms it underhandedly caused-
Realistic Delusion. Self- made bondage.
turning its hands over and over again, to be…
never truly, ever, existing-
figments of our drying imagination-

Seeking to halt itself into reverse
Finding that Both were perverse




So many promises— broken
uncompleted lists
unaccomplished chores,
scheduled zombies…
were we ever meant to feel thy being

with or without,
All of the Above-

in this space place— where

Time means what we Deem-
What we feel-
minute, by minute,
and- Not a Second More.

Because, in losing “precious time”-

We are Granted life— And eternity.

“25”. GRB. 10/30/11

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