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A Third Person Discourse on Self-Forgiveness (An Homage to Turning Thirty and Thriving)

“She was a colicky baby,” that’s what her mother always said. Skip the lullaby… a beast in the belly of this babe began tickling “her”—  frantically in the style of Brahms but, sometimes soulfully like a pensive adagio. “It” appeared taunted to the core, this little one was, born with an itch. “She”— balled her notably intoxicating brown eyes out— to be heard. Some “where” betwixt the first and second chakra… her deepest wounds resided… fresh from the womb and, some, residual from a life unknown. And, they were ready. Ready to unveil themselves in transcendental shapes and colors over the next 30 years…



As my mind begins formulating this post on forgiveness, I reminisce a recurring melody from a dream I recently had in which the focal point was absolution, sound tracked to the Edwin Starr song War from the album War & Peace. Except, in my dream the lyrics were different. They went a lil somethin’ like this… “Forgiveness (uh) What is it good for? Absolutely Somethin’!” And, there it was over and over again… plain and simple… in one of those abstract sleep states wherein I felt, both, absorbed in playing “the dreamer” and, simultaneously, deeply conscious of “the sleeper” experiencing the dream. Somewhere in the middle (a some place I refer to as no-woman’s-land) I was suspended. And, long enough to confront my own involvement in this lucid experience, I came out of it awakened. And, ready to write… But, before you continue reading please indulge in a short exercise… 1. Take a deep breath 2. Close your eyes 3. Bring to focus one dream you’ve neglected pursuing in your life 4. Say out loud “I forgive myself for neglecting… (fill in the blank)Now, 1. Take another deep breath 2.Close your eyes 3. Bring to focus one person that you may be holding resentment towards 4. Say out loud “I Forgive You for… (fill in the blank)

And, resume reading…


Forgiveness has been a rotating center piece for me, for quite some time now. It continues revealing itself in multitudes of reflective ways. Where to start? I suppose with Resentment, the seething side kick of Forgiveness. Because, as us humans know well, we rarely experience one without the other. 8 years old. That’s when I can retrace my earliest experiences with resentment…

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