We are who we are and what we embody is Everywhere and Wherever we are.

Back on American Soil. And I’m Feelin’, so damn, Good…

 

I am back for a moment and I have already been presented with the question of: “What Now?” And my standard reply goes as follows…

Be Alive.
Breath in gratitude,
Exhale Love.
That is my “Plan”… (for now).

 

Setting Intentions for Living:

Living Daily to Structure a life that maximizes experiences that nourish the soul, attention and reduction of frivolous mental activity, and progressive awareness on the growing potential for more healing and further clarity. What I have gained, has not changed me. What I have gone through, though, has altered me so drastically that I have made a conscious decision to re-arrange my perspective, intent, and aims at expressing myself with grown knowledge.

Intentions     =        (Actions) Sacrifice

                                  Love

Reducing Negativing by supplementing Simplicity:

I have this notion… that in creating definitive “plans”, or attempting to ‘map out’ life, we stifle our own intuitive nature. In essence- when we set standards, timelines, or place projections on “where we should be by…” then we are subsequently reducing our options, in a huge way. If, let’s say, I make an agreement with myself- that wherever this life may take me… that is where I am meant to be. And I will find joy in the wherever and/or whatever that place may be. What I have done for myself… is simply accept the infinite options of living. As I become empowered in making positive choices, I am steering myself towards further understanding of how to be happy, and am decreasing the weight of any one option as being definitive to my overall degree of happiness. Since, as I see it, if we choose happiness and love above all else… then we are technically detaching ourselves from a thought that any outside source, or ‘thing’, creates the “us” of that moment. No-thing, or place, creates our state of perceived fulfillment. We are either in a state of being, or we are not.

And so, to rebut the “What Now?” Question I ask the world…

“However do you want me, However do you need me?” Woah I just Soul 2 Souled myself. I think this calls for some Old School rap:

Location is a coordinate.
State of Mind is Mend-able.
Sweet Home California,
You’ve never looked sweeter…

 

Relations, Relativity and Reality:

Home has never been a physical “place” for me- it was always an internal structure. This trip has only confirmed that for me. While, at the same time, it has clarified my understanding of how important it is to create a network of people (ie: tribe) with positive, healthy, and strong relations to support one — like a home. And, in it re-evaluating my perspective on Unconditional Love, I have found anew sense of it- in my-self and for others:

I am Definitely Feelin’ a new conception of sharing. It is not the physical space shared between people but, more potent- it is the space of love and allowance that we offer our loved ones- near or far. By taking initiatives to enhance communication, kindness, and forgiveness– we expand friendship– and we essentially give to the world, all that we seek to reap in return. When we simply decide that loving is more beneficial, to all of humanity, over any self gratification, than we have moved into a realm where our connections can flourish.

 

“Oh yeah I tell you somethin’
I think you’ll understand
When I say that somethin’
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand” -Lennon

 

I cannot say enough about how meaningful language has become to me. To be heard, and to be understood are two very different things. And for me, it took being surrounded by a culture that does not share my native language to grasp the true human need to be “understood”… whether it be verbal, or not. We, as social beings, crave intimacy on many levels and for damn good reason. We do not talk, just to be heard. We Express, in hopes of being understood in a way that will resonate inside of us, in the listeners we approach — and create a web of connectedness to combat the separateness we have been conditioned to believe exists. I wish not to be scrutinized, and therefore my only option is to be limitless in my acceptance towards others. I wish happiness for myself and so, I also wish it for those I love, and those I do not know.

In Retrospect:

Alongside volunteering with some of the most amazing children I’ve ever met, the value of this trip has brought me back (full circle) to many personal truths I held before leaving. It has strengthened my belief in the core aspects of living a happy life: consciously and with as much love as is capable.

“You can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep” -Navajo Proverb

 

A New Philosophy:

My Pre South East Asia “Bucket List” encompassed a plethora of gratifying activity. Gems on that list included: pursuing the performing arts with new motivation, strengthening my relationship with my family, nurturing a healthy partnership, continue learning/studying new things, building my own family and becoming a mother, continuing to volunteer, adopting a child, learning to play various instruments, traveling to new parts of the globe, and finding new ways to be inspired and to inspire. These remain “things” I hope to do, at some stage, in my life. And while I still hold them, in my mind, as valuable to my total ‘life experience’- I have all but narrowed down that, long drawn out, list. And simplified my mind by embracing only that which is vital to me- at this moment. And honestly, the only true thing that will represent the ‘way i chose to live’ my life. And so … While my previously formulated Bucket List has much potential to bring joy, to me and others, None of that is What I am. What I do does not define me but, rather- how I do it. And so, in alignment with the intent to simplify my world, to expand and free, I’ve revised my objectives for life. And in a new Post South East Asia Bucket List, with one intention:

1. EnJOY Living.

Identifying thought patterns of self sabotage to loosen the bondage of false identity:
I have grown to love myself through the experience of isolation. And enough to recognize that spending time alone… it does not bring fear, but joy- to me. I’ve realized a profound ability to fully embrace the magnitude of what it means to truly share with others- in the grandness of living…with no conditions, with accepting eyes, with a non-judgmental mind, and with a heart widening open– to be the reflection of a person centered in truth. This has transformed me into realizing how best I can be the most compassionate, present, and healthy individual- I can be. For myself, for you, and for this world.

“Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets, for it and knowledge can raise men to the divine.”― Ludwig van Beethoven

 

Observing Creation to Re-structure Creativity:

By devoting myself to be a witness, in appreciation, to the world around me- I intend to make living the masterpiece of my life. The ultimate art-work to express the artist in me, and the totality of the aspiring being– I acknowledge in myself, right now. If at the conclusion of my time here I transition, into yet another great unknown dimension, having expressed one thing of lasting impression… I seek to make that one of Remembered Truth and EnJoyment in “The Art of Living”.

“The creative adult is the child who survived after the world tried killing them, making them grown up. The creative adult is the child who survived the blandness of schooling, the unhelpful words of bad teachers, and the nay-saying ways of the world. The creative adult is in essence simply that, a child.”― Julian F. Fleron

I wrote something. It goes like this…

A Gypsy and the Cement Jungle

“Welcome Back”, sounded the Cement Jungle,
“You’ve tramped far and wide-
but, not I.
I have remained and, once more, we reunite.
So I say: Speak Now,
or Forever- Hold your Peace.”

A reverent Gypsy smiled in remembrance:
I can not predict the person I will be tomorrow,
nor can I explain the person I am right now.
And what fun would it be?
To, Be-
if being weren’t besought?
All I can do is hold my-self,
in a state of hope.
And you,
in a space of endless,
Knowing, love-
That “All”, that I Am,
all that I could be,
is all that you are-
and all that you could be.
what we seek, in self
we seek, to share.
and whether we be,
aware of who we are-
or asking:
are we who we think?
the possibility,
to be,
is always a possibility.
if we can accept:
the me, with the you.
As the person I see,
as me,
and the You,
I think of as “them”,
may-be –
nowhere in sight,
tomorrow.
Yet, always-
tHere.
And in that always-
we, and
I, am- limitless.

Just then, The Gypsy began to dance -Joy-Fully
Meanwhile, the perplexed cement Jungle retorted,
“To which will you surrender? The Here or The There?”
Child-like she sang, “Maybe it means: I’m a Nincompoop, You’re a Nincompoop!”,
all the while self-affirming: I’m an Einstein, You’re an Einstein and only each can determine, right now, how we will shit alongside each other: intelli-Gently and grace-Fully Or with Dis-ease and Dis-comfort…

And the assiduous cement jungle echoed, once more, its original sentiment:
“Speak Now, Or Forever- Hold Your Peace.”
Closing both eyes she knew that two parts of One Whole, can never truly be defined as separable.
If they are No-where they are, also, Every-where- Together.
And so…
the Gypsy Delicately removed her shoes,
picked a flower blossom from the ground and,
in offering it back to the Jungle, sat in silence.
Right tHERE, Holding her Peace.