Top 3 Questions of the Day:
1. Who are we looking to for confirmation?
2. Who is it that we deem “valuable enough” to approve or disapprove of how we are choosing to live our lives?
3. Are we consumed in a life-long illusion that prioritizes gaining outer approval, as sheer coping mechanism, to pacify, and justify, living in fear?
“I’m here to get validated…
You, you are awesome.
You have an amazing face. You’ve got powerful features man, anyone ever tell you that?
Then listen, you look a little down and it may seem like sometimes people don’t understand you but, some day man… some day people are gonna see you for what you are really are…
you really think so?
Absolutely, You are great!”
We are all Children at heart…
No matter how many additional candles are added on our cake. And, I have seen firsthand the way validation ignites children. It motivates them… a simple praise and a pat on the back can boost the spirit in miraculous ways. But, it is not the only way. And, as a teacher… I think it is invaluable to guide children toward understanding that validation is a self-service we do onto ourselves… into adulthood and beyond! Because, no matter how much validation we get from the “outside” world… nothing compares to the approval we lend ourselves, “inside”, for being us. It is the most precious gift of all gifts… Loving ourselves, accepting ourselves, honoring and confirming who we are and what we are capable of… Validating and appreciating who we are….
From the earliest of times, Validation has proven to be a powerful tool…
It is something that feeds our soul in profound ways. When we feel validated in our efforts, we feel a sense of expansion & inclusion. It begins at the earliest of ages… and children go on seeking validation from their parents for their entire lives. “There is a story many years ago of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thomson. And, as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie…”
I encourage listening to the story of Teddy & Mrs. Thomson:
Illusions & Lessons on Beauty & Happiness:
As I’ve evolved I’ve realized that “Beautiful” & “Happy” are two things that matter less about how one looks and generally always about how one feels…Beauty is a life force all on its own and it is something that can penetrate the blind stranger. When one is happy, one is beautiful… and it cannot be concealed, manufactured or “made-up”.
Human Beings… Oh, What Fascinating Creatures We Are!
I am engaged by what happens when people talk about their lives. I am ever so compelled by body language – which, in my book, tends to outshine so much of the verbal mumbojumbo, us humans, use to mask our truth. Truth always prevails no matter how strongly we attempt to convey our own illusions to others. It is written in the way we act, move, speak and ultimately relate to others… whether we are conscious of it or not…
The variations of answering “How are YOU?”:
I am often perplexed by how easily people gravitate towards auto-pilot – spewing soliloquies of current events, or a list of all the “things” they are doing. Oh, how comfortably we have become in being- walking, talking resumes. And, when i am met with this type-of interaction I can only ask one thing: What are you try to sell me and how much are you sacrificing to do so? If i wanted your status update I would go on facebook, thanks. The opportunity to have genuine human interaction seems to be slipping more and more out of reach as we are faced with the consequences of social media…
It’s quite fascinating to experience people so detached from genuine inter-action. And, to be honest… I find myself in this place sometimes too! It’s like we’ve grown so accustom to being able to “sign-off” when the conversation begins to disinterest us that, when it happens in real life… (you know… that awkward “i really feel i am not being heard and don’t honestly care to hear anything more about what “you’re doing” thing but, i can’t quite find it in me to simply walk away”…) And, this scenario occurs in even the most patient of beings and greatest of listeners. When it does for me, I attempt to move beyond what is being spoken or heard and, instead, attempt to exercise my other senses. In this space, physicality is monumental. Eyes speak volumes and the vulnerability we mask in words is so damn present- it’s all anyone really hears. And, in that moment… so much is clarified.
“You can do anything you want. You don’t believe me. You think, she’s out of her head. Yeah, I’m out of my head- on being me. What are you on? On being them. You don’t even know. I bet you were never given a chance to know. ….Listen. You can be anything you want to be. Be careful. It’s a spell. It’s magic. Listen to the words…. You are anything…everyone, anyone. …You listen to them, teachers, parents, politicians. They’re always saying, if you steal you’re a thief, if you sleep aroung you’re a slut, if you take drugs you’re a junkie. They want to get inside your head and control you with their fear. …Don’t play their game. Nothing can touch you; you stay beautiful.” ― Melvin Burgess, Smack
Personal Confession of the day:
Occasionally, when i am communicating with people I genuinely feel like they have physically left their body. They are speaking to me but, clearly they are somewhere else. Other times, I feel they are desperately trying to include me in their alternate reality, for which i frequently oblige, and get a deep sense that the simplicity of asking “How are You?” gets a bit complex to answer– when one is not asking themselves on a daily basis. Both of these scenarios make deciphering what is shit, and what is sea (in a sea of shit) really exhausting.
But, I do genuinely enjoy exchanging energy with people. I understand it is an essential part of being human. But, there are certainly times when all i can do is affirm the universe and pray for the onslaught of clarity- in both directions, for the sake of both parties. And, to be honest… there are those rare occasions when Teleportation feels like the best remedy to any half-ass, socially awkward, approach to human connection….whereabouts I can twinkle my nose, curl up beside my beloved dog, exchange the perplexities of life and listen to her… the one who seems to have the appropriate answers of the day…
“You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.” ― Stephen Richards
So… What is your confession of the day?
Let us take time to ask ourselves how we are feeling about our current reality. Let us become the kind of people that listen to our bodies and respond accordingly. Let us be individuals willing to find out what we are made of, how strong we are and how capable we are of being happy… instead of simply believing that happiness is a far-fetched distant reality outside of the here and now that we currently reside. Because, “The need to prove who you are will vanish once you know who you are.”― Danielle Pierre
Because… “You are Great. You are Amazing.” And, if in reading that you think… “No one has ever said that about me before…” than maybe it’s time you start reminding yourself…
Tell it to yourself!
You are worth it, right now. You are worth the energy and attention that every single day requires to re-remember that You already are of value… before you even get out of bed…
You are worth it.
Give up the illusions and Give Out the love in all directions and…. we shall all receive abundantly…
Have an awesomely beautiful day humans…
One thought on “Validation.”
this was really a wonderful post. how did i come here, though? strange.
i was wondering, knowing your own potential is one thing, but really /feeling/ it difficult. while validation isn’t something we should need from others, i find it hard to believe that anyone’s being is fulfilled if no one is there to see it, or share it.
“if a tree falls in a forest and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?”
something like that. though you’re right, we should just accept ourselves, however impossible it feels. positivity WREAKS positive thought, just like with negativity. though remaining positive somewhere you see no joy or exuberance is so, so ludicrously challenging.